Nothing Is Ever Perfect
by xxsnoopyxx
Summary: Sequel to The Birthday Hunt. After the events of The Birthday Hunt Kathryn thought her life with Chakotay would be perfect but her insecurities and their different opinions keep them apart. When Chakotay volunteers for a dangerous away mission and things go wrong will the experience bring them together or will it do nothing and they eventually fall apart?
1. Chapter 1

This is a sequel to The Birthday Hunt – as requested. If you have not read The Birthday Hunt I suggest you do, it will clear some things up. Updates will be slow as my exam revision is top priority. But anyway read on and let me know what you think! Also just saying that I don't own Star Trek Voyager, just borrowing the characters for a little bit of fun.

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POV- Kathryn Janeway:

Just a few weeks ago I had been running around the ship hastily in search of clues. This had been a part of a birthday hunt that would supposedly result in finding out the person who loved me. Of course I thought this was just a bit of fun, that there was no one who loved me. That no one on this ship could or would love me. Little did I know that at the end of it all there actually was the man who loved me, who had always loved me since the first day we had met. But I had been furious about this and turned him down, only to later realize that he was the one that I loved, that I had always loved since the first day I saw him, I just kept denying it, until that night.

That night I had told him that I had wanted him and couldn't stop thinking about him and that I loved him and we had kissed, a very long, passionate and desperate kiss. Then we continued to do so before he led me to his bedroom then started to peel off my clothes and the next thing I knew we were in his bed making love and it was amazing. Our first night together had been perfect and I thought that our life together was perfect but oh was I so terribly wrong.

He wanted to make our relationship public, I didn't and he wouldn't take my excuse for why as a fair enough answer. He wanted to be able to be appropriately intimate when around the crew, I didn't. We argued about almost everything from something as simple as what to have for dinner to what we would do about the fight incident that had occurred earlier today in engineering. We disagreed on everything, he was secure in our relationship and I wasn't, it was too new for me. I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose as I watched Chakotay pacing up and down the room. He was angry with me because I didn't want to go as his 'date' to Neelix's party on the holodeck tonight.

'Why?' The word came out of his mouth like vile.

'Because I don't want the crew to know we are together.' My words were calm but expressed the seriousness of which I intended.

'Why?' This time he sounded calmer, more pleasant.

'Because it's a breach of protocol, the crew won't be able to deal with it, everything will spin out of control!'

'You already know it's what the crew wants. That they have been trying to get us together for years!' His words came out angry, I had expected him to be more composed with this.

'And now we are, maybe they will regret it.'

'Damn it Kathryn, why are you fighting this? It's inevitable. They will have to find out sooner or later.'

'Yes, later preferably.'

'Why? Are you reconsidering all this? Do you not truly love me?' The apprehension and doubt that came with Chakotay's words spilled out of the previously irritated man and settled around me, infecting me like a plague.

'No! I love you Chakotay.' The apprehension wore off and the anger settled in. I couldn't believe he would ever think I didn't love him or want to be with him. ' I can't believe you would think that despite what we are going through.'

'And what exactly are we going through?'

I was too angry to continue the conversation; I had already exited my quarters when he finished his sentence. I entered the turbo lift. 'Bridge' I commanded and the lift came to life and began to move. I calmed myself, letting my anger recede and clearing my mind of biased judgment. I put my captain's face on just as the turbo lift came to a halt and the doors whooshed open to let me out.

I sat down and checked our status. We were cruising along at warp six, no anomalies or anything that would cause any problems for Voyager. I relaxed into my command chair at the sound of the turbo lift doors opening. I knew it would be Chakotay, even more reason to be relaxed. The bridge was silent as he sat down beside me. Suddenly there was a beeping alerting us to the presence of something. I turned around to see Harry analyzing the reason for the noise.

'It's a Borg cube.' Harry stated.

'Alter course Mr. Paris.' I commanded.

Just as we were altering course we suddenly dropped out of warp. Immediately our response was red alert, raise shields, arm torpedoes. But there was no 'we are the Borg, resistance is futile' speech, no weapons fired at us to blow us to smithereens, nothing. So we scanned for life signs determining there were thousands of drones very much alive but couldn't understand why they hadn't attacked us, after all they were the Borg.

I stood up with my focus still on the Borg cube that was glowing on the view screen. It was dead in the water, just like we were. Its weapons were not locked on us, there was no attempt at communication and as far as we could tell there was no damage to their ship or anything that would cause them to be in the state they were in. We were unable to move for whatever reason so the best course of action now would be to wait but my curiosity was getting the better of me.

'Captain. If you'd like, I'll take an away team to the cube, see what's going on over there.' Chakotay was staring right into my soul, I looked into his eyes, there was a calm at the surface that most people would see but I saw the anger and pain that lay deeper within him, I had yet again caused this.

'Agreed Commander. Take a security team.' This time my command was more aimed in Tuvok's direction, who responded with a simple nod before exiting the bridge into the turbo lift.

As Chakotay left my side I couldn't help but let a small amount of personal concern for his safety make it's way to the surface. Despite all the problems we were having I did love him and I just wanted him to return safe and as the same Chakotay I had always known. I returned to my seat and relaxed into it as much as one could relax knowing six of your crew were about to enter a Borg vessel.

'Transport successful Captain, the away team should contact us any moment.' Harry apprised me, which I was grateful for.

'Keep an open channel Ensign.' The bridge fell silent once again as now, all that was left to do was wait.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chakotay's Point of View:**

As the blue shimmer of re-materialisation came into my view for that split second, I instantly found myself scanning my new surroundings as the process finishes. I analysed the images I was seeing, no Borg drones in sight. I looked over to Tuvok who had his tricorder out and was already scanning for any indication as to what was going on here. I took out my own tricorder and scanned one of the nearby Borg consoles; nothing from my scans indicated there was something wrong with the ship. I looked to Tuvok who was still scanning the area.

'The ship appears to be functioning normally. I cannot give you any answers as to why the ship appears to be non-functional at this point in time.' Tuvok stated as if he had read my mind.

'Right, we all stick together on this one. Until we know what's going on, I don't want us to split up.' The rest of the team nodded in response to my command and we began to navigate our way through the Borg ship.

As we passed through we noticed that all the Borg seemed to be regenerating in their alcoves but we couldn't understand why. They seemed to have no idea we were on the ship, there was no damage they needed to fix, it was very unusual. I scanned one of the Borg drones, it seemed fully functional. I was bemused as to what was going on here. Mentally assessing the risks of staying aboard, I decided that it was safe enough. Hopefully in doing so we would find a cause for the cube's halt in function.

'Chakotay to Voyager.' As protocol insists I contact the ship, I hit my comm. badge despite the fact I would rather not talk to my Captain at this point in time.

'What's your status commander?' Came the response from captain Janeway. I took in a deep breath, setting my personal feelings aside and focusing on the task at hand.

'The Borg cube appears fully functional but all the drones are in their alcoves. They seem to be unaware of our presence and not functional. I think we may be able to find out what's going on if we keep looking around.' The link was silent for a minute, I guess because she was contemplating whether the risk was worth it or not.

'Agreed commander, keep an open comm. link and stay close. I don't want any of you splitting up. We'll keep a transporter lock on you at all times.'

'Aye captain.' As we ended our communication I commanded my away team that we move forward. For a while we searched the ship, scanning everything and interfacing with consoles in hopes of finding anything that could give us a clue as to what was going on. Nothing. There was no resistance from the Borg what so ever and no information that we could find about why this cube and all it's drones seemed to be defective. As we rounded another corner I could suddenly hear small cries but I wasn't sure where they were coming from or if they were even real.

'Everyone stop!' I whispered and we all came to a halt. Again I hear a soft whimper but am unsure as to where it is originating. 'Anyone else hear that?' I ask, hoping I wasn't going insane with nerves of being on a Borg ship.

'Indeed. I believe it is coming from over there.' Tuvok nods in a North-westerly direction and we proceed to follow his lead.

As we enter into a larger area, the site before me has me stunned. Sitting in the corner is a young girl, no more than the age of six. She looks terrified, to no surprise, but I couldn't help but wonder why she was here. I studied her closely; she looked completely organic, no Borg looking features at all.

'Please… Don't hurt me!' She cried as she attempted to crawl further away from us but she was already up against the wall.

'It's okay, we're hear to help you.' I say as I approach her slowly. 'My name's Chakotay and this is Tuvok. What's your name?' I felt a small weight lift off my shoulders as the young girl stopped trying to escape and told us her name.

'Krita.' She said. 'Where are you from?'

'We are from a ship called Voyager. Where are you from?' I asked. Slowly we were gaining her trust with the exchange of one question asked each turn.

'Jublas. That's my planet.' Krita looked at me with a puzzled expression before proceeding to ask me another question. 'What's your planet?'

'My planet is called Earth. It's a long way away from here.' I knew my next question would be risky, that I could lose all the trust I had gained with Krita but I had to ask if we were going to figure anything out. Choosing my words carefully I stated my next question. 'Do you know what happened here?'

The calm that had been her face was replaced by a look of horror, but never the less, Krita was brave and began telling us what had happened to her.

'I was playing in the meadow on Jublas. My mum and Dad were watching me, there were many other groups there too. Then the Borg came and took many of us away. I was brought here with another kid and some elders but I don't know where my parents were. Then… then they… stuck tubes in the elders and… ' Tears began to stream down her face and she started to retreat into the corner. Her eyes filled with panic, she began to shake in fear.

'Hey, it's okay Krita, you're safe.' She nodded at my reassurance and continued to tell me what happened.

'Then they looked like them. Same with the other kid they brought here. Then they grabbed me. I was so scared but all of a sudden they were all gone.'

As Krita finished recounting what happened, the sounds of drones activating could be heard. Suddenly there were drones approaching us from behind, mechanical sounds penetrated the air. Krita let out a scream as a drone began to enclose on us. I held out my hand and she took it, pulling her up we all rushed to the nearest clear exit.

'Voyager! Seven to beam up! Get us out of here!' I screamed over the sinister voice of the collective alerting the presence of intruders. Suddenly I felt two cold tubes enter the back of my neck before quickly retracting just a split second before I started to dematerialise. I felt my mind slowly disintegrate into the vast consciousness that was the Borg. I tried to fight it but it was too strong. The collective was calling me.

'We are Borg.'

**Please review! It's really hard to write something when you have no idea what the readers think. **


	3. Chapter 3

POV-Kathryn Janeway:

We had been monitoring the away teams status closely but everything went terribly wrong within not even a second. For some unkown reason the Borg drones all began to activate and before we even had Chakotay's request, we were already working on beaming them out.

'I count seven humanoid life signs captain?' Ensign Harry Kim informed me. That's when we heard Chakotay's shouting and the eerie collective voice alerting their presence.

'Voyager! Seven to beam up! Get us out of here!' I looked over to Harry who had already busied himself with the task.

'Beam them directly to sickbay.' We had no idea what had happened over there, I didn't want to take any chances.

The sounds coming through the comm. link were very hard to distinguish. As I listened intently some of the sounds became clear. I could hear the mechanical sound of the drones as they moved towards the away team, the voice of the collective saying various things about the cube's status. I could hear screaming but wasn't sure who's scream it was. There were loud crashes and other sounds that I couldn't identify.

'Transport successful captain.' As soon as the away team was aboard, the Borg started to fire upon us.

'We are the Borg. Resistance is futile'. Came their hail over the comm.

'Mr. Paris, evasive maneuvers, get us out of here.' I was just about to relieve my command of the bridge and head to sickbay when my communicator chirped and the doctors' voice came through.

'Sickbay to captain Janeway.'

'Yes Doctor?'

'You'd better get down here quick.' Was his only response. I couldn't help but wonder what had happened, I feared for the safety of my crew but one person in particular occupied most of that concern. Chakotay.

'I'm on my way Doctor.' As I entered the turbo lift and ordered it to take me to sickbay, my concern started to get the better of me, I could feel the worry starting to become evident on my face. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself down, suppress my worries and regain control of myself. Upon my success the doors opened and I headed towards sickbay only nothing could prepare me for the sight I was about to see.

It was almost too much to handle, seeing Chakotay, no longer Chakotay killed me inside. He'd lost the pink colour of humanity in his skin; only to be replaced by a white, grey mottling of the Borg. Small Borg implants had begun to form on his face and other areas of his body. He was no longer the Chakotay I knew, his mind connected to the Borg collective, his body transformed into a Borg drone. At this moment in time, I struggled to breathe, I just wanted to break down and run away from the ugly truth in front of me, that we may never get Chakotay back, that I would never get him back. But I couldn't, I had to be the captain, show no fear. I took in a deep breath before approaching the side of the biobed where the Doctor, busied himself around Chakotay.

'Is he…?' Was all I managed to say.

'Yes, he is connected to the collective. But I believe an electrical charge through his body would disconnect him.'

'What about the implants?'

'I should be able to remove most of them. Considering the assimilation process cannot be finished unless he returns to the Borg, which leaves me confident I will be able to return him to his original form. But we must act quick captain. I am sure that this 'drone' will be sending out a signal in attempt to rejoin the collective.'

I simply nodded before turning around to see Tuvok, only to get my second shock of the day. Hiding behind Tuvok was a young girl. That's when I made the connection; she was the seventh person we beamed up with the away team.

'Krita, there is no need to be afraid'. Tuvok said and instantly the young girl's fear seemed to fade away. 'This is captain Janeway. ' I just smiled at her as she came out from hiding behind Tuvok.

'Is Chakotay going to be okay?' Krita asked, she sounded so concerned for his wellbeing; it made my heart skip a beat that this little girl had so much concern for other people who she hardly even knew.

'I hope so. The Doctor is going to do everything he can. But he is confident Chakotay will be okay.' I tried reassuring her, making her feel safe. 'Where are you from?'

'Jublas.'

'Do you know what a star chart is?' Krita shook her head in response. Finding this girls home planet was going to be difficult. 'Do you know if you are close to your home planet?'

'No. I couldn't go back there anyway. Once you are taken by the Borg it is forbidden to return.'

'Why is that?'

'Dad once told me a story that a young man was once taken by the Borg. But he escaped and came back home. He was crowned a brave man but within a day of his return, the Borg came back. My return would bring the Borg back to my home world. Even if I was to return, there wouldn't be many of my people left anyway.' Her eyes started filling with tears and her little pale face became filled with sorrow and horror. 'Can I stay with you on your ship?' Her words were filled with hope.

I contemplated what to say. Of course she was going to have to stay on Voyager until some time as we could find some people of her own kind but if her world was destroyed, but would it really be best for her? Would we even be able to find her home planet anyway?

'I think staying on Voyager for now is the best option.' I smiled. Krita was so innocent yet so grown up. She reminded me Naomi. Thinking of Naomi gave me an idea, who better to make Krita feel comfortable on this ship than her? 'Come with me Krita, I think there is someone you should meet.' The little girl took the hand I offered her and we walked out the sick bay doors. I couldn't help but wonder how this little girl survived Borg assimilation and how Chakotay had ended up in the state he was in. I just hoped the Doctor would be able to reverse the assimilation process. I wanted my Chakotay back and I couldn't bear the thought of losing him forever.

**Please review. =)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a short filler chapter, like a bridge. **

It hadn't been easy and it certainly hadn't happened over night but Chakotay had been disconnected from the Borg and was now again for the most part himself mentally. After the Doctor had shocked him to disconnect him from the collective, Chakotay had tried to assimilate the security team. I was shocked to see how just a few hours had already had such an impact on his mind. Removing his implants however was a much slower process and certainly bringing the commanders moral down. He seemed so distant, particularly from me and it broke my heart seeing him so lost.

But there was one person who brought back that sparkle in his eyes and that warm smile to his face, Krita. Krita had been to sickbay to see Chakotay every day whether he was conscious or not. No matter what state of mind he was in, she would bring him joy. They had bonded over the incident and she had become like a daughter to him, even asked if when he was better if she could live with him, of course he had said yes and naturally Krita was over the moon about the whole idea. Only at this moment did he seem to come to his senses that he had been distancing himself from me and failed to discuss taking Krita into our lives together.

I didn't know if this hurt me more or whether I just felt happy to know that Krita was someone who could bring him back to this world. It was hard enough losing the person you loved but to know that someone else was able to bring the person you loved happiness rather than you, despite the fact that Krita was only a child, made me feel slightly threatened by her existence in his life. All I wanted was to have Chakotay back in my life, in my arms, to be happy together once more.

As I came back to reality I found myself contemplating these events on the bridge. I had been completely in another world, luckily no one had noticed. It was just another uneventful day on Voyager. Since we found that cube there have been surprisingly no other Borg encounters, I couldn't help but wonder why and that nagging question of just what exactly had happened on that cube still had me completely puzzled but I knew I would find out some information soon enough, the Doctor said I could come by sickbay later to talk to Chakotay about his 'Borg experience'.


End file.
